Like Quidditch, this game’s a joke based on the rules of Cricket, which are generally incomprehensible to outsiders.
Summary: One of the most complex games in known space, which seems to be a game of mob warfare and apologies. Points are scored on the quality of the apologies.
Teams/Players: Many players. It’s helpful to find a good one and clone him a few times.
Uniforms/Equipment: Plenty of weaponry, presumably a ball. Tennis guns, skis, weights, basecube bats, take your pick, anything you can swing.
Rules/Play: The teams play off in a large field. Build a wall around the field. While the game is a spectator sport, it’s really better if the audience imagines the mayhem, it’s generally more exciting than the game itself. Throw a generous supply of sporting equipment over the wall. The players presumably beat each other with their new gear. After each successful hit, the player should run away and apologize from a safe distance. Apologies are scored on sincerity and clarity.
“The winning team shall be the first team that wins.”
History/Culture: The rules of Brokian Ultra-Cricket are so controversial that civilization-ending wars are fought over them (and honestly, war is easier on the survivors than Brokian Ultra-Cricket). The last time a physical copy of the rules was compiled, it collapsed into a black hole under its own weight.
Variations: either none or all games are variants. More information on the Consport Fandom Wiki.
With thanks to Douglas Adams.
